Apology Letter

Dear Mary, I come here today, in this way, because I need to apologize to you. I failed you. Although I did not lie to you in words, I lied to you with faces that did not belong to me. I never meant to ruin the friendship that meant the world to me. You mean the world to me and now I come to you asking for forgiveness. If in your heart you find you can’t, then I will understand and learn from this experience.

亲爱的玛丽，我今天这样来见你，是因为我得向你道歉。我辜负了你。虽然我没有用言语骗你，但我用不属于我的表情欺骗了你。我从没想毁掉这段对我来说无比珍贵的友谊。你对我来说就是一切，现在我来求你原谅。如果你心里实在无法原谅，我理解，也会从这次经历中吸取教训。

You came into my life at a time when I needed you the most. We talked about so many things that I started to realize my heart and my soul could actually feel something other than hurt. You placed comfort where there was fear, confidence where there was doubt, a shoulder where tears could fall and completeness where there was emptiness. I wanted to hold onto to this so badly that I did whatever it took for you to notice. What I didn’t realize was that I could lose my entire being, all of who I was and all that I had placed in you.

你出现在我生命里，正是我最需要你的时候。我们聊了那么多，让我开始意识到我的心和灵魂除了伤痛，还能感受到别的。你在恐惧的地方给了安慰，在怀疑的地方给了信心，在眼泪落下时给了肩膀，在空虚的地方给了圆满。我太想抓住这些了，所以不惜一切代价让你注意到我。但我没意识到，我可能会失去整个自己，失去我的一切、所有我放在你身上的东西。

I wanted to be the one who would be there when you needed to talk. I wanted to be the comfort for your soul when the world was too much to handle. I wanted to be strong for you when everything else seemed impossible. I wanted to love you in only the way you deserved to be loved, never realizing that I was destroying myself and you. Somehow I needed you to be a part of my life. The only problem was that I was willing to jeopardize everything to get that done.

我想成为那个在你需要倾诉时陪在你身边的人。我想在世间纷扰难以承受时成为你灵魂的慰藉。我想在一切看起来不可能时为你坚强。我想用你应得的方式去爱你，却从没意识到我正在毁掉自己和毁掉你。不知怎的，我需要你成为我生命的一部分。唯一的问题是，我愿不惜一切代价去实现这一点。

All the things that I told you about how I felt and how you make me feel were true. Nothing else mattered to me except hearing the laughter in your voice when you were happy. You made my days easy to get through and my nights peaceful; you helped me look forward to another day. Even though distance separated us, just being was enough.

我告诉你的所有感受，以及你带给我的感觉，都是真的。除了听到你开心时声音里的笑声，其他什么都不重要。你让我白天好过，夜晚安宁；你让我期待新的一天。即使距离把我们分开，仅仅‘在’就够了。

I’m sorry for hurting you and if I had to do all over again I would have been 100% with you. Forgive me please,

对不起伤害了你，如果一切可以重来，我会百分之百对你坦诚。请原谅我，