Breaking Up

Hello English learners! Welcome back to another show with us here at EnglishPod! My name is Marco.

And I’m Erica.

And today we’re bringing you another romantic lesson, but a little bit sad as well.

That’s right, um, today unfortunately our couple is going to bebreaking up.

Right, so, it’s a little bit sad today, but it’s gonna be good, because we’re gonna be teaching you some great words and phrases that you can use when you’re faced in this situation.

That’s right and, so we’re going to learn some, uh, phrases forbreaking up and also some phrases for staying together.

Alright, so, let’s listen to the dialogue for the first time and see what happens with our young couple.

Okay, so, a pretty sad ending to this relationship, isn’t it?

Yeah, but I don’t think, uh, the girl was very moved or very sad by breaking up with him.

I wonder why, um, maybe she’s got some other boyfriend somewhere else.

Maybe.

Uhu.

Well, as you mentioned, we listened to some great phrases and it’s time for us to take a look at them now in “fluency builder”. Voice: Fluency builder.

Okay, here we’re going to focus on phrases that people use when they break up, so, maybe you’ve heard these in movies and we’re gonna look at the meaning now.

Alright, our first phrase as we heard, she started by saying we need to talk.

We need to talk.

Alright, so, very direct sentence – we need to talk.

So, when you tell someone “We need to talk”, you’re telling them that you wanna talk about a serious thing, right?

Right, so, if somebody tells you “We need to talk”, you know that you’re going to talk about a very serious matter.

Yeah, a problem or a breakup or something.

Uhu. And after that she told him that they should start seeing other people.

Start seeing other people.

Okay, I think we need to start seeing other people.

To see other people.

Alright, so, this is very easy to understand.

Yep.

It means to…

To date other people.

Okay, so, it basically means that you will break up.

Yep.

It’s an indirect way of saying that, right?

Yeah, you’re not… you’re not saying “Hey, let’s stop dating”, you’re saying “Oh, well, maybe we should date other people” and kind of giving the idea that you will still date each other, but everyone knows, you won’t.

Hehe. Alright, so, let’s start seeing other people. Now, for our third phase…

She says it’s not you, it’s me.

It’s not you, it’s me.

It’s not you, it’s me.

Now, this is a very cliché phrase and you hear it all the time in movies…

Yeah.

And, well, some people still use it, right?

Yeah, it… everyone says this, I’ve… I’ve heard this, I’ve said this.

Okay.

It means basically, “I’m the problem”, “you’re not the problem, I’m the problem”.

Right, so, I am breaking up with you, because it’s my fault…

Uhu.

Not your fault.

Yeah, so, it’s kind of an… a nice way to… to break up with someone, but actually everyone knows that it’s kind of a lie.

Not true, right?

Yeah, yeah.

It is you.

Yeah.

You are the problem.

Yeah.

Alright, so, it’s not you, it’s me. And then, well, in order to emphasize this, that it’s not his fault, she said that “I know I’m hard to deal with”.

So, hard to deal with.

Okay, if somebody is hard to deal with…

They’re maybe difficult to talk to, difficult to please, maybe difficult to manage.

Okay, so, it’s very difficult to talk to that person.

Yeah, uhu.

Alright, hard to deal with. It’s only for people, you can’t use it for a situation or something else?

No, you can use it for people or situations or even sometimes things. So, for example, I can say “Oh, I find this problem at work so hard to deal with”.

Okay, hard to deal with.

Yeah.

So, we’ve seen these four phrases that we can use to break up with someone and, well, let’s listen to our dialogue again. We’re gonna slow it down a little bit and then we’ll come back and look at some other phrases to stay together with someone. DIALOGUE, SECOND TIME (slow)

Okay, so, as you said, we’re now going to focus on the phrases you use to stay in a relationship with someone, so, let’s look at those now in the “fluency builder” (part 2). Voice: Fluency builder.

So, the girl was trying to break up with him and he kept on trying to convince her to stay.

That’s right.

And one of the things he said was “We’ve had our ups and downs”.

We’ve had our ups and downs.

Ups and downs.

Well, ups and downs are good times and bad times.

Right, so, the good times would be the…

Ups.

And the bad times…

Obviously, the downs.

Alright, so, it’s an informal way of saying “good times”, “bad times”.

Uhu.

So, they’ve had their ups and downs and he said “We can work it out”.

We can work it out.

So, whatever the problem is, we can work it out.

So, why don’t we hear some examples of how this phrase is used and that will help us understand it a bit better. Voice: Example one.

Peter and Claudia were having some problems, but they finally worked out their personal differences. Voice: Example two.

We need to work out a new marketing plan for this up upcoming quarter. Voice: Example three.

After an hour I finally worked out the answer to this math problem.

Okay, so, to work something out means to find a solution for it.

Yeah, to solve the problem.

To solve the problem. And again he kept on insisting and saying, well, “We can get through this”.

We can get through this.

Okay, get through this.

So, to get through something.

What does that mean to get through something?

Well, basically, to survive a difficult situation, or…

Alright.

You live through a difficult time.

Okay, so, for them the difficult time was this in their relationship.

Yeah, or maybe you’re having a problem at work and you might say “Hey guys, don’t worry, we can get through this, just give us one more week”.

Okay, very good. And, well, as he was saying that they can get through this, he mentioned that they have to stick together.

To stick together.

We got to stick together.

Stick together.

So, again, to stick.

So, when something sticks together, it stays together like glue.

Right, so, they have to be a team…

Yeah.

And not separate.

Yeah.

In order to solve their problems.

Exactly, it gives you that the… the… idea that they’re gonna work together and stay together.

Okay, very good. So, let’s stick together. Alright, so, again we have four great phrases to convince somebody or to say that you want to stay together in the relationship, right?

Yeah, that’s right. So, I think it’ll help us to understand these if we hear them one more time in the dialogue.

Alright, so, breaking up can be, uh, a difficult situation, especially if you’re the one breaking up, right?

Well, I guess it’s… it’s never happy if ev… if you’re the person who’s being broken up with or you’re the person doing the breaking up, but… You know what, I… I really noticed that a lot of the… the phrases the girl used to break up were very like cliché like you said. They were very, um…

Common.

Too common.

Uhu.

And kind of a joke, almost.

So, the phrase it’s not you, it’s me - it’s one of them.

Yeah. And she also said “You deserve better”.

You deserve someone better.

Yeah.

That’s a very common one saying like “I’m not good enough for you”.

Yeah, but I… again, it kind of just it looses its meaning, doesn’t it?

Uhu. And also another phrase that’s very cliché, but it wasn’t in our dialogue was maybe the timing is just not right.

Yeah, people say that all the time.

Yeah, so, they say “Oh, the timing is not right; it’s not the appropriate time to ge… be together”.

Yeah, that’s just an excuse for not wanting to date that special person.

Exactly, so, it can be a difficult situation and people do it everyday through letters…

Yeah.

Sometimes through the phone.

Yep.

In this case they were breaking up in person.

Uhu.

So, listeners, why don’t you tell us if you have any stories of breaking up with someone or maybe somebody broke up with you?

That’s right, try and use the language in this lesson and visit us on our website at englishpod.com and leave us a comment.

Alright, we’ll see you guys there and until next time…

Thanks for listening and… Good bye!

Bye! ***